My nephew BJ is most amused when he is watching videos of himself. He can sit for long periods of time while admiring his school stage performances or videos of him shooting a basketball. He laughs and gives commentary to those around him as he praises his awesomeness.
At two-years-old, this young man is his motivation. Although he makes a note of the other people in the videos with him, they are never his focus for very long. I find it comical to watch him lament over himself and speak of himself in the third person. He is a poster child for high self-esteem.
On the contrary; a group of friends and I were talking the other day. We chatted about workouts and the progress we were making in our training sessions. As one friend complimented the other, she immediately compared the missing elements of her own body. She wanted more of what our other friend had.
Two healthy and beautiful women sitting here as the envy of most and the goals of others and yet they still wish they could become someone else. As I sat there, I instantly said to myself, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Having struggled for years with low self-esteem and the need to want to morph myself into someone else, I am deeply acquainted with the thief of joy. Having used his power to steal my happiness on many occasions during my life, I finally had to summon him out of my life.
By changing the story, I was telling myself and others, I got in the driver’s seat of my life. I stopped reciting the eulogies of a childhood where I was told I was ugly and unworthy. I began telling myself the true story of the beautiful woman I had become and who I was evolving into. I grew more mindful of the truth I was narrating. I realized that if I wanted a brighter outcome, I had to turn on the light.
I work out with women who have smaller waistlines, rounder butts, and more defined abs. I admire them and the hard work that they put in, but I can never be them, and they can never be me. The moment you compare yourself to others, you diminish a part of you that has been uniquely designed to lift you and the others around you higher. You chip away at the very beauty of your Earthly sculpture and create cracks for self-doubt and low self-esteem to creep in.
You are made to reflect the beauty, essence, love, and light of the Divine. To compare yourself is a tragedy and harmful to your health and overall wealth. Take a page out of BJ’s book. Speak to yourself in the third person, remind yourself of your greatness and playback all the fabulous moments of your life. To compare yourself to others would cheat yourself out of all life’s beauty, and ain’t nobody got time for that.